Man Task #13: Retrieving Jewelry from the Drain

I am all for empowering women to do handyman jobs. There's a reason Handyman Magazine often runs how-to stories for chicks, and there's a reason that "Fix-It Guide for Women" with Rosie the Riveter on the cover has sold so well. A big huzzah for any woman who wants to prove she can, I just don't want to. I am not a fan of sticking my hand down dark holes, just looking down into my garbage disposal makes me feel a little ill, and the thought of what's lurking in my bathtub drain just makes me gag.

I knew the day would come when I'd have to some kind of yucky job myself. Every time something has come up in the past that I didn't want to touch with an unbent coat hanger, I called Dad, or brother, or boyfriend, and they came running (albeit with a grimace) with toolbox in hand. Until yesterday, I'd succeeded in not getting my hands dirty.

Yesterday, I had to retrieve an earring from the trap in my bathroom sink. I don't even think I've ever worn the particular earring I dropped, but I'm far too obsessive compulsive to own only one earring, knowing the other lurks, covered in slime, nearby. I called Dad. He was working and wouldn't be able to come by until Saturday. Brother was heading to class, and boyfriend was, too. It could have waited until either of them got out of class, but I would have had to pay Brother, at least in food currency, and Boyfriend would have laughed unmercifully. With one more call to Dad, I learned "bathroom sink protocol." Basically, this means big bowl, a washrag you don't mind never using again, and a solid gag reflex. Armed with 2 out of the three, I sit down in front of the sink and begin clearing out (remind me to get rid of stuff). I'm supposed to loosen the rings on both ends of the trap, so this I do, but only with much aggravation and under-the-breath cursing. Water begins dripping out of the trap, and I still don't understand how standing water can suddenly defy gravity and pour out of still attached trap, but it was gross.

I wrestle with the trap for a little while more, and finally get it loose. pull it away, and there's a mass of hair, bathrag fibers, and who knows what else hanging from the pipe. Ew? It's a bathroom sink, is it supposed to be that gross? I'm forced to unbend a coat hanger and go at it, waiting for that stupid earring to plop into the plastic, yellow party bowl I will never use again.

Now that I think about it, even though I scrubbed the earring with hot water, alcohol, and hot water again, I'll probably never wear it, either (even though it's probably way cleaner than the other earrings I wear, even the ones I didn't drop down a drain...). I can say, though, that I know how to get stuff out of a pipe, and reattach a sink trap so that it doesn't leak. I survived, yes, but it's not something I ever want to do again.

getting into Grad School

I'm good at a few things, procrastination, for example, but standardized test preparation is not one of them. Actually, now that I think about it, not being very good at preparing for the GRE can probably be accredited to my inclinations to procrastination.

I'm taking the GRE next Saturday, and I'm scared out of my wits. I haven't been doing so wonderfully on the practice exams; my scores reach nowhere near the safe level I'd like to them to, and I'm not entirely sure what I'll be able to do about it in the span of 5 days I have until my exam. I will, of course, have one more opportunity to take the GRE before the end of October (when my scores are due), but it would be nice if I did well enough the first time around, so I wouldn't have to pay the ridiculously inflated $140 testing fee. (September 23rd blog about that here.)

I'm beginning to get all the loose ends brought together for the whole "applying to Grad School" process. And yeah, even though it's not a proper noun, it totally gets capitalized letters. It's a huge deal to me. I've got 4-5 potentials in my mind for letters of recommendation; I'll be asking them soon. As soon as I get the GRE out of the way, I'll begin applying. I've got about a month to write my personal statement (which, of course, I have no idea how to do...).

"Applying to Grad School" has got me thinking--why in the hell am I doing this in the first place? Yeah, I like education, I thrive on classes and reading and learning, but what is all this bureaucratic mess I have to go through first? I understand why it's in place, but I'm not nearly competitive enough to do it. (Okay, obviously, I am, or I wouldn't be doing it. I'd be content to stop at my baccalaureate degree, having a completely normal and satisfied life like the rest of the world...) One of the schools I'll be applying to soon is UNC-Chapel Hill. I'm beginning to seriously doubt I'll get it. Not that I'm not intelligent enough, but to get into Chapel Hill is competitive. Everyone's trying to do it. The English department accepts less than 10% of their graduate applicants. Their deadlines are at least a month before most graduate programs, two months before some, and why? So they can weed out everyone who doesn't have it. Even on the chance that I would get in, would I really want to be in an environment that is so competitive, where each and every one of your classmates is fighting for your spot, their recognition, better of everything?

My second school is the University of Mississippi in Oxford. My parents are Mississippi State Alumni, so the thought of me going to Ole Miss is a little challenging to them, but hey, they're good parents and they'll support me all the way (even if they won't wear the t-shirt). I've heard good things about the English program there, and one of my favorite professors completed his graduate education there, so the education aspect looks promising. What I've heard about the social environment there, however, is a detriment to whatever academic appeal they have. Now, I can't say for sure, because I've never personally attended Ole Miss, but from family and friends who've been to Oxford, I've heard that socially, you must fit into a kind of social dichotomy - either you've got money and labels that you flaunt, or you don't. Even the professors are like this. I'm not much into labels, or social arrogance, and I don't know that I want to spend at least the next 6 years of academia in not only a university that operates on this, but a city. Plus, it's in Mississippi, which means that if I want to go out on the town for a night, I'd have to drive to neighboring Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas, or Louisiana. Well, crap.

My third choice is the University of Georgia, where I'd originally wanted to go for my undergraduate studies before I realized that I actually had no idea what I wanted, and had better stay closer to home where I'd get in less trouble. I've heard some complaints about the program from some former English-major acquaintances of mine, and Athens is your typical college town. Studying is down, partying is up.

I guess I'm realizing I have no idea where I would fit in, and no matter which programs I apply to, they'll all have their problems and benefits. I'm having trouble realizing that it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it, either. The GRE is just the GRE, Grad School is really grad school, and not the end of my life. Sure, I'd get a more respected education at UCal-Berkeley, but I'm not so much concerned with how low people's jaw drops when they see my diploma as with how effective I am as an educator, or how curious I remain about literature. I think that in about a year from now, I'll realize that I can pretty much make myself happy anywhere, regardless of the storm of fears I'm going through right now.

But still, why in the world is the GRE so damn important?

Contemporary Logical Form

I love craigslist. I check them almost daily, mainly for secondhand furniture and books, but I'll occasionally read the "Rants and Raves" column, too. I had some extra time at work today, so I figured I'd venture away from Augusta's page and read some in North Carolina, as I'm applying for a graduate program there soon, and, well, I guess I was curious as to what kind of discussions are going on in my potential future home. Greensboro was in a heated battle between Atheists and Christians, and in the background, people were berating an IHOP waitress for being of Spanish descent and not speaking perfect English. It was scary there, in the Rants and Raves board in Greensboro, NC, so I went to a few other cities. In Charleston, SC, the discussion is lewd, and it somehow has been linked to a "black" verses "white" issue. In Athens, GA, people are calling the Jena 6 "thugs" and "hood-rat niggers" who will be judged by God. In Detroit, MI, it's the classic Republican vs. Democrat debate, with a healthy amount of "suck it up, public educators" thrown in the mix. Springfield, IL's page has been consumed with a blend of politics, war, and religion, while Los Angeles' threads were just so haphazard I'm not sure what they're discussing.

What bothers me isn't what's being discussed--racism, violence, politics, religion, and sexuality are things that need to be talked about--but the frustration comes from the way people are talking. It's completely illogical. I've yet to see any kind of normal discussion going on, and it's rare that a post isn't belittling or intentionally insulting the poster they're responding to. Insults, slurs, and curses are thrown out at every chance, and everyone assumes that their opinion is right, and everyone else should, quote, "fuck 0ff," or "suck my dick," or "go kill yourself."

I only searched a fraction of these boards, and only on one website, but I've seen it everywhere. Facebook, MySpace, Blogger, YouTube--I doubt there's a venue that hasn't been marred by inappropriate arguing.

Do I think that public forums should be censored? No way. I do think, however, that people should censor themselves in consideration of other people. Isn't it our social responsibility, our responsibility as people to manage the way we speak to each other? It seems like we would have so much more constructive conversation if we weren't so insistent on forcing everyone to agree with our perspective.

I'm content to know that I won't agree with the way other people see the world; on the same hand, though, I've accepted and embraced the fact that people don't agree with me. I'm not saying we should shy away from dialogue, or even make it nice or surface-level, but I do think that we should be more willing to lead our discussions with rationality and humility, and the general understanding that people, by definition, are diverse and impossible to understand. If we can't handle even our conversations with maturity and logic, what can we handle?