things are best said over chocolate pie

I am notorious for loosing things. I'm also notorious for finding them again, in silly places (like right where I left said lost item, for instance). I went shopping today, to get more stuff for my apartment, and after getting home a few hours later, I realized I'd lost my debit card. I had a little bit of a panic-moment. Okay, I had a lot of a panic-moment. I was freaking out, calling the stores I'd been into, obsessively checking my online banking, making sure no one had been using my card, digging through my laundry, purse, car, all to realize that I wasn't going to find my debit card in a cute little forgotten pocket of my wallet. So after a bit more freaking out, I got on the phone with my bank to cancel my card. Of course, I was put on hold. I got my card cancelled, and new one is being mailed tomorrow for me, so everything is worked out.

But not once did I stop to collect my thoughts, breathe, or even pray. No "Hey, God, can you please help me find my card?" or "Please don't let anyone mean find it." It was just me, freaking out, cursing at myself and at automated phone services and even the size and color of my (very lost) card. It was just me being alone, being frustrated, being stubbornly arrogant in my own searching. So yeah, i got it all sorted out eventually, but I think it would have been much easier had I just been able to calm myself down and handle things the way I'm supposed to.

How often do we all do that? How often do we rely on our own reason instead of reminding ourselves to calm down and just talk to God? It seems to me that if we say that we trust God, and rely on his strength, it would make sense that we don't act like jerks when we lose things. I know that there are a lot of people out there with much larger issues than a lost debit card. My fear is that if I can't even trust Christ enough with all the silly things I do, how can I ever fully trust him when bigger, tougher issues hit me?

We learn to trust with the little things; our dads don't let us go when making us human airplanes, the training wheels don't fall off with his handiwork and we grow into teenagers who believe that he'll pick us up when the movie is over, and we believe he'll be there when boyfriends mess up and when test grades are bad. No one trusts anyone else unless they've been through a lot of little things together. If I want to be able to trust anyone (especially God) with big things, I have to at least give them an opportunity to be trusted through all the little things. How much of a control (read: pride) issue do I have as to not let the God that made me create peace within me when things are shaky? When I'd realized I'd lost my card, it was just me, alone, freaking out. If I'd stopped and invited Christ into the situation, I wouldn't have been freaking out just by myself, and I would have taken at least one step towards letting myself trust my Savior.